EMOTIONALLY FUCKED UP : THE NEW NORMAL


CHAPTER ONE :  DREAMS AND HOPES

What would you do if you knew what you want out of life and that your chances of you actually getting there are awfully low?

Well we try! Won’t we? We try as long as we can! 

Because apparently “Pain of regrets are way worse than the pain of discipline”

And so you walk out there and try to get something that your heart and soul truly desires. And you fail. You keep failing and that just makes you stronger mentally. You become better with more failures,yes! 

But in the journey, you kind of lose sight of what you wanted in the first place because the journey was long and hectic AF. And you remind yourself “what you want” Over and over for years. 

“Maybe you are not good enough. Maybe you just can’t do it. Maybe you can live a better life accepting the way things are” says a voice in your head

And with a heavy heart, you carry on. Moving through each day bit by bit holding on to hope. And when the journey is too long, you evolve through it. You fall in love, meet amazing people, try out all the pleasures of this world. 


CHAPTER 2: PAIN

You start feeling that maybe this is what life is all about. Friends and Family. Just living in the moment and taking life as it is. The void you were so desperately running away from feels filled.

Poor souls we all are. We aren’t aware of the ultimate truth of life.God laughs at you with a joke called “Life” and an awful fact that “Nothing ever lasts”.  And the fact that no matter how much health, wealth, love and fame you earn, you are going to lose it all at one point, called death. So, whats the point of it all?

You swallow all those awful facts of life and digest them and tell yourself “It’s alright! I know it. It’s alright”. When you are not fucking alright. The innocent child inside us is punched and stabbed left and right as the months passes. Nothing ever lasts.

After the emotional flood calms down, you come out of the sheets , wipe off your tears, dust yourself off and get back on the road where your beautiful and awful friend called “life” waits for you to hold its hands so it can play with you all over again.

And now, from people to dreams to yourself : everything fucks the hell up. Things change so fast that you barely have time to breathe and acknowledge it. Something trips you and they keep tripping you and you keep getting hurt until you realize : “ Pain is always going to be there. No matter what”.

And so you harden your heart and keep walking and falling and bleeding but hey, you are strong right?

Fuck no. When you have lost your fucking heart, you have nothing to fight for. You feel empty inside because the only thing you feel is .. well numbness. 

They say “hold onto your hope, the moment you lose it, everything else falls apart”. But it already is! Everything falls apart eventually. Everything. And that’s an awful truth of life that we run from!


CHAPTER 3: LOST:

When you feel lost, you feel lost. You are too emotionally fucked up to open up your heart again. Maybe you do from time to time. 

And now you ask yourself way too many questions in an attempt to figure yourself out but you don’t feel the same feelings that you used to. You feel flawed and broken as fuck and yet you are too scared to admit that fact to yourself.

You walk again. But with a closed heart and a strong brain, going out into this world chasing after things that you never truly wanted hoping that would fix you only to meet something awful called regret at the end of the long hectic sad journey that many people call life.

And for those who could feel even after all these fuck ups, you are lost too cause fear takes over you, grips you by your feet and drags you around like a fucking dog. And most of us submit to fear. Most of us.

Fear is a dream killing toxic ass mofo that we desperately need to kill and yet we are slaves to it. And you know it. From the fear of not being good enough to the fear of rejection to the fear of regret.


CHAPTER 4: FIGHTING FEAR

Most of us are barely have any emotional and mental strength at this point. And a very few of us have our hearts open still. Hey it could be bleeding and scarred and hurt but it’s still beating!

It is afraid of wanting anything because our hearts have been bullied and stabbed like a million times whenever it wanted anything. Fear… Fear rules.

For those who can go through life with their hearts open , without any sort of fear or pain or break-down stopping them, they live a happy fulfilled life and die a happy soul.

But this brings us to the following questions:

  1. How to go through all this with our heart’s open? How to hope when everything you touched turned into darkness?
  1. How do we beat fear? Especially when you have been through alot!

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